Thresholds are not always visible or felt when you cross over them. Sometimes it takes more than one step, more than one event to help you recognize you have arrived in a new landscape. To see clearly you are of an age in which family and friends are beginning to get ill or die is one of these thresholds. To recognize and accept that you have become the generation that is leaving.
Rob was the first beloved person to leave. He died of a heart attack in his early 50’s with a clear explanation. Rob had recovered from Leukemia as a young adult. The medications used at that time left his heart weakened. With his illness faded in the rear view mirror and his vibrant humor enlivening, we had long forgotten the fault line in his heart. So we were completely shocked to hear that he had had to pull over on the side of the road in cardiac arrest and died at the hospital. That quick. No goodbyes. It was the first loss of our dearest friends and family members and we were oblivious to the approaching threshold.
Then a shift began to happen. L. was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer. S. died of glia blastoma. B. died by suicide. C. had a stroke. Because he lived alone, he was not found for 30 hours. C. is paralyzed on one side of his body. A year post-stroke, he requires assistance to walk, groom, and dress himself, etc. M. had a heart attack and due to internal and external resources and state of the art…
